Omelette, the Crowned Prince of Denmark, and Other Tales

Yesterday in class, while trying to work with a group of unruly 15-year-old boys, I gave my students a crossword puzzle that I had created to give them something fun to do. It was an easy puzzle where all the answers were names of countries in the EU. For the clue, "it is shaped like a boot," the obvious answer is Italy. For the clue, "the concentration camp, Auschwitz-Birkenau, is located in this country," the answer was NOT Austria, as many of my students guessed. And for "Dracula's castle is located in this country," I had to tell my students that we do not spell it "Roumanie."

The best for me, though, was the student who suddenly yelled out, "Sarah, where was Omelette from?" Omelette? "Yeah, it says, 'According to Shakespeare, Omelette is the prince of this country'." Oh, Hamlet! I couldn't help myself, and I started to giggle a little bit, realizing a moment too late that this boy hadn't intentionally mispronounced Hamlet's name. I caught myself and said, "Ahem. I'll give you a hint: it's in northern Europe." Someone yelled out Denmark in French, and we translated it together.

The Omelette story has reminded me of all the funny things that Europeans (not just the French) have said to me during my time here. Although Americans are typically pegged as the blubbering idiots of the human race, I'll admit that some of the funniest (and most ridiculous) questions I've ever been asked has been while I was overseas. Here are just a few...read them while anticipating the sigh that comes as my response:


- What's the most popular type of car in the States? Citroen?

- Well, that [heart attacks] is normal, what with everyone eating hamburgers all the time...

- (when a package didn't arrive) Could the post office in the States be on strike?

- You know what Africa is, don't you?

Me: How many states are there in the U.S.?
Student A: 12!
Student B: 72!!

- So, you all drive big cars?

- Why don't you have a gun? I thought all Americans had one!

Me: What is the capital of the U.S.?
Student A: Hollywood!
Student B: New York!!

But my favorite of all time is this:

- You use the Euro in the States, don't you?


Sigh. Sigh. And sigh.